Star Whores

Obsessive portraits I drew of Princess Leia when I was 12
and other embarrassing fan art.

Feb 22
Lets take a Leia break for a moment to admire some other worthy space-faring ladies. With her calm smile and the quiet disdain of her flared nostrils,  Counselor Troi’s black Betazoid eyes see all our secret shames.  Watch out for her, she’s like the Patriot Act for your mind. 

Lets take a Leia break for a moment to admire some other worthy space-faring ladies. With her calm smile and the quiet disdain of her flared nostrils,  Counselor Troi’s black Betazoid eyes see all our secret shames.  Watch out for her, she’s like the Patriot Act for your mind. 


Feb 15
Taking steps to ‘green’ her lifestyle, Leia has reused her dirty old hair and fashioned it into a lovely tunic.  

Taking steps to ‘green’ her lifestyle, Leia has reused her dirty old hair and fashioned it into a lovely tunic.  


Feb 11
Leia finally shares the page with the her long-lost, retarded half sister Sleia; spawned from a passionate one night stand between Jabba the Hutt and Padme Amidala. Sleia’s determination to avenge the death of her beloved father is matched only by her grotesque physical deformities and total dependence on a state licensed caregiver for her everyday needs.  This has made Skywalker family gatherings even more awkward than usual. 

Leia finally shares the page with the her long-lost, retarded half sister Sleia; spawned from a passionate one night stand between Jabba the Hutt and Padme Amidala. Sleia’s determination to avenge the death of her beloved father is matched only by her grotesque physical deformities and total dependence on a state licensed caregiver for her everyday needs.  This has made Skywalker family gatherings even more awkward than usual. 


Feb 10
It’s more Leia/My Fair Lady crossover action as the Princess dresses up for the royal ball with Professor Higgins.  She could’ve ‘DAAANCED ALLL NIIGGGHHT’ (if she had feet instead of fins)

It’s more Leia/My Fair Lady crossover action as the Princess dresses up for the royal ball with Professor Higgins.  She could’ve ‘DAAANCED ALLL NIIGGGHHT’ (if she had feet instead of fins)


After studying the Jedi Mind Trick in night school for a couple years, Leia decided to leverage her newfound skills into a more lucrative position as the newest member of the X-Men.  Clearly, the long hours and unflattering, harsh comic book lighting are taking a toll on her face.

After studying the Jedi Mind Trick in night school for a couple years, Leia decided to leverage her newfound skills into a more lucrative position as the newest member of the X-Men.  Clearly, the long hours and unflattering, harsh comic book lighting are taking a toll on her face.


Every budding artist knows practice makes perfect.  Here, I practiced drawing Leia in a myriad of ways:  Old Leia, Young Leia; and eventually the slow, painful transformation into Chipmunk Leia.

Every budding artist knows practice makes perfect.  Here, I practiced drawing Leia in a myriad of ways:  Old Leia, Young Leia; and eventually the slow, painful transformation into Chipmunk Leia.


Feb 8

So, my 10 year old scanner finally crapped out.  I should be getting a new one and posting more awesome, earnest, depressing fan art soon enough.  Stay tuned!


Feb 2
I bet your “rebellion” would like to attack these “Death Stars”
Here, “Jedi” Leia is struggling to keep her tiny frame balanced and upright under the weight of her enormous, sagging, lop-sided breasts.  They didn’t have breast reduction surgery a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. 

I bet your “rebellion” would like to attack these “Death Stars”

Here, “Jedi” Leia is struggling to keep her tiny frame balanced and upright under the weight of her enormous, sagging, lop-sided breasts.  They didn’t have breast reduction surgery a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. 


It’s Edwardian Leia!  Inspired by Eliza Doolittle.  ’ello, gov’na!

It’s Edwardian Leia!  Inspired by Eliza Doolittle.  ’ello, gov’na!


Jan 31
After a while, I just started drawing Princess Leia in historical costume.  Here is my take on the “Elizabethan” era.  I’m pretty sure they had teased bangs back then. 

After a while, I just started drawing Princess Leia in historical costume.  Here is my take on the “Elizabethan” era.  I’m pretty sure they had teased bangs back then. 


Jan 28
Even as a child I seemed to pick up on Leia’s existential pain and suffering, only barely hinted at in the original triology.  Her expressions often range from subdued melancholy to melodramatic anguish.  
Here, she seems to be leading a naked version of herself around by gunpoint.

Even as a child I seemed to pick up on Leia’s existential pain and suffering, only barely hinted at in the original triology.  Her expressions often range from subdued melancholy to melodramatic anguish.  

Here, she seems to be leading a naked version of herself around by gunpoint.


I know slave Leia is sexy, but before you blow your star wad all over her, why don’t you buy her a sandwich first.  She’s clearly getting dizzy and starting to lose control of her motor functions. 
More from the ‘Dying Princess Leia’ series coming soon.

I know slave Leia is sexy, but before you blow your star wad all over her, why don’t you buy her a sandwich first.  She’s clearly getting dizzy and starting to lose control of her motor functions. 

More from the ‘Dying Princess Leia’ series coming soon.


This is from a series of drawings that have a vaguely hallucinogenic look to them.  Just say no, Leia. 

This is from a series of drawings that have a vaguely hallucinogenic look to them.  Just say no, Leia. 


Here Leia is looking visibly annoyed that a pesky 3 foot long wisp of hair somehow escaped from her bun.  Lucky for her, people are too busy looking at her enormous rack to notice.

Here Leia is looking visibly annoyed that a pesky 3 foot long wisp of hair somehow escaped from her bun.  Lucky for her, people are too busy looking at her enormous rack to notice.


Star Whores: Episode I

I started this blog to share the obsessive, overly sexualized portraits I drew of Princess Leia when I was 12.  These recently came back into my possession after spending years stuffed away in a storage unit.  As a nerdy 7th grade girl I would often have to suffer through male classmates’ in depth discussions of  X-Wings and Tie Fighters, while I would be longing to share my thoughts on Princess Leia’s romance with Han Solo, her political career within the New Republic, and her hair.  Occasionally, I’d want to pontificate on why I’d be the perfect girlfriend for Luke Skywalker, but mostly for me Star Wars was just like any other childhood story I was told, where the princess was the star of the show.